June 2025

Self Portrait inspired by Philip Guston

The last month-ish has been challenging. A tree limb fell on my car, dented the hood and smashed the windshield. Scott’s car was stolen from right outside our home. And one of Scott’s friends from college took his life. There’s a lot more to that last one, but it’s not appropriate to discuss. I’ll just say this, I feel very disappointed and distrustful of human beings - even more so than usual. Add Father’s Day into the mix, two people who almost bailed on commissions, heat, humidity and politics and it’s just one steamy pile of a hot mess. 

My grandmother, Be, had a stubborn streak a mile long. She always wanted to do everything herself. She must have passed that down to me. After several weeks of sheer torture in the studio, I finally surrendered and asked for help. The stress of the incidents above have played a role in my art production, but there’s more to it, I think. There’s a pattern of dissatisfaction, growth, production, satisfaction, dissatisfaction, growth that happens with me (probably a lot of other artists, too). It seems as if one minute things are fine, but then I get frustrated again because I can’t do what I want to do. Jill Carver always says you’re six months to a year away from being able to do what’s in your head. It takes that long for your output to catch up. Gonna go ahead and circle December on the calendar. Ha. The bar always moves.

The highlight of the month was attending the Metro Montage Opening Reception last night. Did I ever in a million years think I would have a self portrait hanging in a museum? Never. It was absolutely surreal to have perfect strangers walk up to me and say, “I’m so sorry to hear about JuJu.”  

 

I’ve never seen so many people at an artist’s reception in my life. We had to wait in line just to get inside. Two floors of art and every room was jam packed with people. It was so hot upstairs I could hardly stand it. Usually at these things, the artists spend two hours painfully making small talk with each other. Not last night. I just wish there was this kind of enthusiasm for other shows. We all work so hard to make something meaningful. And it’s incredibly difficult to find a place that will even show your work. And then there’s the challenge of getting people to the show. (Let’s not even go into the discussion of sales!) None of it is easy, so when it happens and people actually show up and they’re excited and KIND??!! … it’s a night you never forget.

The other thing that I want to mention is that a friend of mine, Patrick, made the frame. He’s a fellow painter and just an incredibly nice guy. 

Here are a few more paintings from this month:

 

TEACHING: Acworth is rolling along as usual. My private FB group has grown slowly (by design!). I challenged them to draw every day in June. I provided a prompt and posted my drawing of the reference with helpful information. It’s funny - they’re very shy about posting their work, but they message me privately. And I’m teaching twice a month at a local senior center. 

DRAWING: I’ve drawn for more than 500 days straight. Did I really do that? Yes, I really did. I don’t even think about it anymore. Every morning I finish my coffee, get out my sketchbook and go. 15 mins. 

OTIS, LOUIS and WINSTON: O-doggie still hisses when Louis and Winnie get on his nerves or get too close, but otherwise he’s kinda settled into his new role of  Uncle Otis. He sleeps upstairs during the day, away from the kitten circus. I understand. At night he curls up with me, and after morning treats he jumps back in bed for snugs. 

Louis and Winnie are obsessed with bags, pens and pencils. If they hear a bag crinkle, they will BOLT out of a dead sleep to investigate. Louis is like JuJu when it comes to food. We cut out giving them scraps at dinner, but Louis will go in the kitchen and hunt like a scavenger. The other day I brought home some gorgeous heirloom tomatoes and discovered Louis had taken a HUGE bite out of one. The other day he bit into an apricot and an avocado. Good thing he’s cute :)

JULY: More teaching, more studio time. I will also be preparing for my Artist in Residence at Palmetto Bluff and the New Smyrna Beach plein air paint out. Lots of painting ahead!